Because instant messaging doesn't cut it anymore...

And I thought I was having a bad week.

2006-02-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

I had a bad week last week. However, it doesn't compare to my buddy Seth's week so far.....And it's only Wednesday!

Here is an email he sent:

OK
Wake up Monday feeling like shit...call in sick
I make an appt. to see the doctor...(hard to get) for 11:15
I pull myself out of bed, and My car brokedown...
I have to order a towtruck to take it to BMW. Cancel my appt.
Reschedule for 3:30, Take Peter's car there.
While waiting and waiting for the doctor, they forgot about me and misplaced my paperwork!
They then send me over to Urgent care because their office was now closed. Finally see a doctor to tell me....its not bacterial. Great. Gives me some average meds. Go to the Pharmacy, yep, 2 hour wait. FUCK IT, i go home.....in the worst traffic ever!
So bad, all the streets by my house are jammed, so i just park peters car down the block because it was too difficult to get to the no permit section.
Next day, go to work...BOO!
Then i get a call from peter that he got a ticket (MY TICKET)
Come home yesterday, just want to cook dinner and sleep.
open the microwave and burn the crap out of 4 fingers on my left hand.
They are all blistery and WILL NOT stop stinging.....
STILL STINGING....Try to go to bed and still stinging.
So i get up, get in my car and track down an open pharmacy to get something....to stop the stinging.
Finally get home, lay in bed, in pain and now it is 9AM on wednesday feeling GRAND!!!!

Well Seth, enjoy the rest of your week!

Is Los Angeles that terrible?!

2006-02-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

My alarm goes off at 6:40am. I wake up to the sounds of the hilarious Kevin and Bean talking to the sexy Elisha Cuthbert. I look out my window and it's another beautiful day in Southern California. The sun is out and it's 75 degrees. I hop in my car and drive to work where I have a television, a DVD player and a VCR on my desk!

I'm living the dream....Well, at least my dream.

But it always makes me wonder: Why do people hate Los Angeles so much?

I have been here my entire life. I grew up in the Valley, went to USC, and now I live in Hollywood. Right after I graduated, most of my close friends moved away. One went to Italy and now lives in St. Louis. One went to Denver and now lives in New York. One went to Japan and now lives in San Francisco. Others desperately wanted to move back to where they were from: San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle, Boston.

Why the rush? Why deal with the constant terrible weather in cities like Chicago, St. Louis, or New York. Why deal with the constant crowds of more enclosed cities? Why deal with tons of skyscrapers and no vegetation? Why live somewhere that has no ocean?!

I'm going to guess there are 2 main reasons why people hate Los Angeles: Traffic and the people.

Ok, so I completely understand the traffic issue. I hate it too. There are so many damn cars in this city and great public transportation. I am personally scared to take a bus and the subway has no convienent stops for me. So, traffic, yes, is a bitch.

However, many people from out of town who come to live here say that Los Angeles residents are too"hollywood." These Woodies (people who are too hollywood) care too much about the way they look and how much money they are making. These are the people that you see outside the Griddle or Toast on a Saturday or Sunday morning who look like they got dressed up to go to a club, when they are actually just going to eat egg whites and banana pancakes. These are the same people who are waiting outside Spider Club, Shelter, Tropicana or LAX on one of the star-studded nights bragging to the people next to them that they share the same drug dealer as the promoter so they are on the list. Woodies also love their silicone and nose candy. Basically, Woodies are fake.

Now, I am not saying that I haven't had my Woodie experience. I think we all have. I ended up at Bruce Willis' birthday party once and thought that I was coolest guy ever. I went to school with Nicole Ritchie, so when I see her out I feel cool that I know her. But I think the people who are Woodies all the time are the annoying ones.

But when it comes down to it, I can spend the night at St. Nicks, or I can see a movie, or I can even stay home. And I think most people in LA can do that. The Woodies make up such a small percentage of LA. There are so many different types of people in this city that it is really impossible for someone not to fit in.

I just don't get it.

Music Videos aint what they use to be!

2006-02-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

Well, here is a treat for this Friday. Please watch and tell me if this video makes ANY sense!

Physical Imperfections

2006-02-02T11:47:00.000-08:00

Every night, before I get ready for bed, I take a long hard look in the mirror. In the last month, this has become quite a ritual for me. There are certain things I look at that I think need changing. There are certain things about myself that I just don't like. I know that everyone has certain issues with their own bodies, I just feel like I obsess over it too much.

I'm a typically happy person. I have great friends, a wonderful family, an unbelievable social life, I live in one of the greatest cities in the world. However, for some reason, I strive for more perfection. As much as I tell myself that there is no such thing, I still think I can reach it. I never will, but I still look in the mirror every single night telling myself I can look better. Vanity sucks.

Starting at the top of my head, here is the inner-dialogue I have with myself every night:

Hair - Well, thank goodness the hairline in still intact, but what is with these gray hairs? Maybe I should darken my hair so no one will notice.

Eyebrows - WHOA! These suckers are thick! Good thing I already get them threaded because they would be one long puff (please see Martin Scorcese)

Nose - Damn scar from when I had skin cancer removed. Maybe I can get that fixed.

Teeth - I mean, they really could be whiter. Even if I use the store-bought whitening crap, I probably could still get them whiter!

Chest - Oy, damn Eastern European genes. How does my brother end up with no hair on his chest, yet I look like a baby grizzly bear died on my chest! Maybe electrolysis could help.

Stomach - Damn beer. Well, maybe I can drink more light beer. Maybe I should just get a personal trainer and work out.

Skin - Just call me casper. Well, because of the skin cancer, I'll have to get a mystic tan maybe once a week.

Height - Well, there aint no fixing that! I can't grow anymore.

Ok, so this is getting ridiculous. Do I really have so many damn problems?! Am I that hideous of a person?! I really don't think so. But if I was to fix everything in the above list, it would cost up to about $400 a month! Do I really need that stress?! That would just add more gray hair.

So, I guess for everything that I feel is wrong with me, I compensate with my personality. I try to be as charming as I can possibly be. However, as charming as I try to be, sometimes I wish I could just fix everything so I don't have to fake how I really feel.

That's it! I can't take it anymore!

2006-02-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

Fuck it. I'm throwing in the damn towel. I give up. The game is over. Stick a fucking fork in me, I'M DONE.

Don't worry... I'm not ending my blogging career.

I'm talking about dating in this fucking city called Los Angeles. How in the hell in a city this damn big with this many damn attractive girls can I fail so miserably at such a ridiculous ritual?! I have been on more first dates this past year than anyone should have to go through. I have learned about so many girls' different careers, family members, cities of origin, hopes and dreams, and medical histories...These are all the things we learn on first dates....ok, maybe not medical histories.

Why do I force myself to be charming, while half the time, in the middle of these dates, I am just wondering if I will have enough time to watch the episode of The OC I was missing before I went to sleep.

However, there are those times where you go on a date with a girl and you have the best time. The conversation is flowing. You have so much in common. You leave the date feeling happy and optimistic. Maybe she will last more than 3 dates.... hell, maybe she'll last past the first date!

Then, the unthinkable happens. She's not interested.

Um, excuse me, she's not interested?! How the fuck can that be true?! Was she at the same date I was, because there was magic between us. I mean there were fucking angels and birdies and hearts and all that other corny shit. This doesn't make sense!

But it does. It makes perfect sense. Because for every girl who wants a second date with me that I don't want one with, there will always be a girl who doesn't want a second date with me.

So, that's it. I give up. Los Angeles and its women have won. The word "date" or any conjugation of it will no longer be in my vocabulary. I just hope that one day I can get back out there again and actually find someone I am worthy enough to spend time with.

Coachella lineup and reality TV

2006-01-31T11:13:00.000-08:00

So, the Coachella lineup was announced. To tell you the truth, I wasn't so excited by the outcome. Last year's line up was pretty amazing. This might seem like a little bit of a letdown. That doesn't at all mean I am not gonna go! I will be there at least for day one.

Here is this year's line up:
Day 1
Depeche Mode, Franz Ferdinand, Sigur Ros, Common, Damian Marley, Atmosphere, Carl Cox, My Morning Jacket, Ladytron , Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Tosca, Cat Power, Animal Collective, HARD-fi, Derrick Carter, Devendra Banhart, She Wants Revenge, The Walkmen, The Juan Maclean, Audio Bullys, Lady Sovereign, Deerhoof, The Duke Spirit, Editors, stellastarr, Lyrics Born, Matt Costa, The New Amsterdams, The Zutons, Platinum Piped Pipers, White Rose Movement, Chris Liberator, Colette, Imogen Heap, Joey Beltram, Hybrid, Wolfmother, The Like, Living Things, Nine Black Alps, The Section Quartet, Infadels, Youth Group, Shy FX & T Power, Infusion.

Day 2
Tool, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Bloc Party, Paul Oakenfold, Scissor Sisters, Matisyahu, TV on the Radio, Sleater-Kinne , Mogwai, Coheed and Cambria, Gnarls Barkley, Coldcut, Phoenix, Digable Planets, Amadou & Mariam, Little Louie Vega, Mylo (DJ Set), Seu Jorge, Wolf Parade, The Go! Team, Kaskade, Metric, Art Brut, Dungen, The Dears, Jamie Lidell, The Magic Numbers, Los Amigos Invisibles, Jazzanova, Michael Mayer, Mates of State, Gilles Peterson, Gabriel & Dresden, The Subways, Minus the Bear, Be Your Own Pet, Giant Drag, Kristina Sky, The Octopus Project.

www.coachella.com

Now, on to more pressing matters. Reality TV.

I am effing sick and tired of people saying they hate reality tv. People complain that it is terrible tv (which most of it usually is), and that they would never watch it. But what these people don't tell you is that they always have one reality show they watch. It's their guilty pleasure.

That term is so ridiculous to begin with. "Guilty Pleasure" is another way of saying that the show you watch is absolute shit. All the reality shows I watch I don't see as shit: The Apprentice, Real World, Road Rules, Real World/ Road Challenge, Blow Out, Flavor of Love, The Surreal Life, American Idol, and Beauty and the Geek. I love each and everyone of these shows, and I would never be embarrassed of that.

If you think it's sooooooooo terrible, DON'T WATCH IT!!! Own up to it!

I'm a paranoid girl

2006-01-30T11:38:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I drank, I partied, I slept, I ran errands, and I became a woman. Yes, a woman.
I waited and waited for a girl to call me back, but she never did.

I went on a date on Wednesday with a girl who I definitely dig. I waited till Saturday to call her, and I have heard nothing since I left that voicemail. Now, I completely understand that she could have been overly busy this past weekend, but my mind is telling me that she is not into me. I have become and over-analyzing paranoid woman. Sure, I had great weekend, but this was bothering me the whole time.

Maybe I should pull a Spiegel and get the hell out of LA. Dating in this city is just frustrating!

WB + UPN = The CW..........The Country Western?!

2006-01-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it finally happened. The two red-headed step-children networks, The WB and UPN, have merged to become one big Uber-Step-Child known as the The CW.

Let's say Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damm somehow merged into one super-being known as Steven-Claude Van Seagal. Would two crappy crime-fighting celebs become a badass hero like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2 or would they become an embarassing letdown like Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters 2?

This is exactly what needs to be found out about The CW. I guess only time will tell.

Back by popular demand!

2006-01-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's been about a year since my last post. Lot's of things going on. Let's go through my month to month highlights of 2005:

January: My apartment flooded. There was a mushroom growing out of my carpet.

February: I was dating a girl and ended it the Friday before Valentine's Day

March: 24 doesn't wrap, but my job on the show does.

April: I watch my Lakers have a terrible season and miss the playoffs for the first time since 93-94.

May: I am the drunkest I have ever been and proceed to pole dance with Curtis from 24.

June: Enjoy my 2 week hiatus with trips to the beach, Magic Mountain, and San Francisco.

July: The birth of the Faux-Bachelor party occurs in San Diego

August: I start my brand new job at Sony Pictures Television.....I remember what real work is like.

September: Gib gets married. I celebrate my 25th birthday by singing Styx's "Come Sail Away" and then waking up on my bathroom floor

October: The last time I went to the gym!

November: Faux-Bachelor Party part Deux in San Francisco....Not as good, but fun nonetheless.

December: Travel to New York for NYE and party like a freakin' rockstar.

Concerts I went to in 2005 (no particular order):
Dave Matthews Band
Louis XIV
Coachella
Paul McCartney
Fischerspooner
James Taylor
Oasis/Jet/Kasabian
Kroq Almost Acoustic Christmas
The Rolling Stones
The Killers
Franz Ferdinand
The White Stripes
Elefant
Concert for Relief (Tsunami)

Shows season passed on my TIVO:
24, Sopranos, Simpsons, Las Vegas, OC, Family Guy, Real World, Road Rules, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Shield, Home Movies, Entourage, Lost, Arrested Development, Huff, South Park, My Name Is Earl, Office, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me, Surreal Life, Apprentice, Prisonbreak, Invasion, Rome, Intervention, Everybody Hates Chris, Beauty and the Geek, Love Monkey

Thats pretty much my update! I will continue to post more this year......I promise.

Music for Relief

2005-01-18T13:42:00.000-08:00

Monday night, I attended a concert that was bound to be a wonderful show. It was a benefit concert for the Tsunami victims. The concert boasted Tenacious D, Beck, Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, and Eddie Vedder.....with special appearances by Will Ferrell and Chris Rock.

Well, Tenacious D was by far the best. Beck was pretty damn lame (except when Will Ferrell came out in a bright orange uni-tard and started doing interpretive dancing to one of beck's songs). Dave Grohl and Josh Homme were awesome.

And then there is Eddie Vedder (Mr. Personality Plus). He put on a great acoustic performance (expect when he played "Last Kiss".....man, I hate that song). Of course, Vedder has to ruin a good moment by saying that the US is not donating enough money to the cause. That really irked me. Everyone was saying how wonderful this concert was, and then Vedder makes a negative statement where it wasn't needed.

All in all, it was a great night. The highlight was the end of the show when everyone came out and jammed to a little Led Zeppelin. It was pretty badass....especially when Will Ferrell came out 5 minutes into the jam playing a freakin' cowbell! Yes, we all had fevers and the only prescription was more cowbell......and we got it.

Why is television so wonderful?

2004-12-17T10:56:00.000-08:00

First off, lets go through the list of shows (on now or on hiatus) that have the privledge of making it on my TIVO: The Simpsons, Arrested Development, Huff, The Sureal Life, Sopranos, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Las Vegas, Real World, Road Rules, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Listen Up, Lost, Jack and Bobby, Joey, The Apprentice, The O.C., Saturday Night Live, Degrassi (keep in mind, i watch this show for ideas on scripts the i'm writing), Pardon The Interuption, Home Movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Insomniac, South Park, Chappelle Show, and of course, 24.

Now, some might say that this is way too much television for one human to watch. You know what I say to these people? Go the hell and take your commie attitude with you! Is it really that bad watching this much television? I don't think so. Some of my happiest moments have come from TV. When the clan at West Beverly graduated from high school, I was in tears. When Kramer was the first one to lose the master of his domain, I never stopped chuckling. When Seth got on top of the coffee cart to confess his love to Summer, I was so proud. When Tony and the gang shot Pussy and dropped him into the Atlantic, I was relieved. And when Krusty the Clown admitted to the Simpsons that he was the son of a rabbi, I was proud to be a Jew.

The funny thing is, most everyone who reads this blog will know what I am talking about. Each of these moments I have shared with indirectly. Even if I have never met you before, we have this in common: we have both felt the same joys and the same pains for these ficticious characters on TV. To me, TV brings people together, whether it's at the water cooler at work, the commons area at your school during lunch, or through the internet. Am I right, or am I just pathetic?!

2004-12-16T16:51:00.000-08:00

I kinda look tall!

It aint easy being short (or green)

2004-12-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

Why, oh why have I been cursed with these genes.....these short genes. These genes make it hard to shop for jeans! Genes Jeans Genes Jeans......no matter what kind, around me, they're short.

When I was a child, it sucked. I would never be able to ride on roller coasters. I had a birthday party when I was 10 at a go-gart place. I was the only person at MY OWN party who couldn't ride the go carts! I was continuously made fun of. Short kids are always prone to insults.

But what really irks me is how I am treated now-a-days because I'm short. It's not an easy task in this city of angels to find a normal girl, who I share interests with, who likes a short guy. In my experiences, girls like taller guys.....makes them feel protected and such. Being the short guy, girls tend to be eye level and feel not as safe. Damn, I'm mad!

Poppin' my cherry!

2004-12-16T11:01:00.000-08:00

Well, this is my first. I have never done this before, so be gentle. I am a first time blogger. I have instant messaged and signed onto message boards, but never blogged. I think this will be theraputic for me (even though I started seeing a therapist this week). I plan on being candid about my life...diving into the deepest corners of my perverted mind.....ok, on second thought, maybe not every corner. I look forward to good relationship with cyber world!